The Inhibitor

There’s this new super hot guy at work, and I’ve been popping boners all week! I went online to find something to do about it and this company popped up, selling some high tech cup that’s supposed to keep things chill down there. I got one and put it on, but now it’s saying something about a passcode and ‘not wanting to take it off?’

Beta Patron Request by @fen
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As The Romans Do

Eugh! This sucks, I don’t want to go back. Back packing around the globe for a month has been the best idea of my life. Took my mind off everything and saw the world. Now reality’s gotta come crashing in. Get back and be the disappointing short of perfect score, son.

Cat has been liking all my IG posts, and now wants to ‘meet up’ after I get back. Dumped by cheating ice queen! Don’t take her back, don’t take her back. The water works are a show. She left the gate open and killed Tau for fuck sake! I loved that dog.

Fuck me alive, I can’t deal with this right now. Last night, clubs/bars of Italia one last time.

Supporter Request by @Tim C.
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Bubble Boy Court

I’m a new District Attorney, and my first solo prosecution seems to be a slam dunk. Public Indecency charges for a group of young men caught fornicating in broad daylight in a city park, all caught on tape. Instead of doing the reasonable thing and taking a plea deal, their defense counsel insisted on taking it to trial.

Not that I expected anything reasonable from this attorney–he’s been nothing but unprofessional. His “bubble boy insanity” defense is totally deranged, and his attire is wholly inappropriate. During opening arguments, his pants were so tight I could clearly tell what type of underwear he was wearing (and who in their right mind wears a jockstrap to court?)

As the trial goes on, though, I’ve caught myself glancing at his round ass and wondering what it would be like to have one of my own, maybe bigger. And I can’t seem to get comfortable in my seat. This case has gone on too long, I can’t wait for it to end.

Alpha Patron Request by @John Doenstein
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Dickless Down Under

God, there’s this awful new guy at my work, some flamer they brought on for diversity or some shit. He’s always smacking on this bubblegum, and smells like cotton candy, wearing pink like some fairy. Last week he got all offended that I rolled my eyes and sighed when he walked past my office a bunch and said I’d be sorry. I guess it can’t be too bad. What’s he gonna do, steal my dick or some shit?

Beta Patron Request by @fen
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Road-Trip Reversal

Hey Purple Fairy!

I met my husband in college when we were both pretty young and newly out. He was a hot little track star and I was an up and comer on the football team. But, we both loved the outdoors and after a few perfect weekends together it was evident to both of us that we belonged together. I loved his fresh, lean body and boyish charm.

I’ve always been a big guy: 6’3” and muscular from my years of lifting weights. Puberty hit me early and hard, making me well hung and nicely furry to boot. So when I met Tad it was fun exploring his tight, smooth body and cute little 5” dick.

Ten years later we are still in love, but I guess I had always expected that Tad would…I don’t know…mature a bit along the way. My buff college frame is still in great shape, but I’m a bit broader and my face has a few extra lines. But Tad is just as boyish and twinky as he was the day I met him.

I don’t want to change who Tad is, but part of me is slightly bored with being the only “manly” one in the relationship. Always lifting the heavy bags, always expected to do the manual chores…always being the top.

Alpha Patron Request by @masqulinity
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Dick Desires

Hey there, Pink Fairy! I’ve got a request I’ve been wanting to ask for a while now…

Put short, I wanna be a cock. A big, dumb, hard cock constantly dripping precum and attached to a hunky, sweaty jock whose musk and pheromones can attract other hot guys for miles. A truly manly man like my Asian roommate, just the opposite of a pussyboi like me.

He doesn’t have facial hair or anything, but I like it that way, it lets me see his perfect face; it’s his big muscles, his reeking post-workout smell, and his dumb frat boy way of talking that get me going, and I heard that he turned his old crush into his jockstrap before he decided not to go to Europe…

Sorry, I got lost there for a sec, he’s just so hot… Anyway, can you grant my wish and have me swing between his legs for the entirety of his eternal youth, only able to talk with his jockstrap friend? I’ll give up as much of my brains as you want. Thank you so much in advance.

Alpha Patron Request by @willowonthelake
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Body Build-up

Hey, Purple Fairy. I don’t know if you guys work with straight guys or not, but I heard some guys talking about you and I wanted to get in touch. I’m a bodybuilder. I love building muscle and getting bigger. And I’ll do anything I can to grow.

And just know: I don’t have any problem with gay guys! I mean, they love my muscles and I get off on being worshipped. I even work a couple of nights during the week at a gay bar dancing and sometimes bartending.

I don’t mind the customers asking to feel my muscles in return for a nice tip, or arranging to meet for a more private, more naked session where they can really feel my body up. They just can’t touch the junk, because I don’t swing that way and I’m big enough to break any of them in two if they try. But hey…the money I get from them pays for my supplements…and that fuels my growth.

So, as I said, I’ll do anything. Will you help me grow?

Alpha Patron Request by @masqulinity
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Speedo Serpent

I heard a rumor about a guy… The story changes every time, but it goes like this.

The guy takes something. It’s either a pill, a drink, or some sort of potion. He doesn’t notice anything wrong at first, until his clothes just… disappear. Then, a speedo appears on him. He can’t take it off. Well, he can, but whenever he tries another new speedo just shows up around his crotch.

People kind of notice the fact that there’s this guy just walking around wearing a speedo, but no one really questions it or says anything about it.

I heard that you know a lot of shit about this stuff… Do you… Do you know what happens when someone puts on one of the speedos that the guy has taken off?

Beta Patron Request by @kentboiiii
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