Artificial Insemination pt. 1

The CSS Methuselah is one of the first colonization ships to be commissioned by the Terra Confederation. Aimed at the nearest habitable planet to the Solar System in order to start the first extrasolar colony, the Methuselah is to be guided through its long journey by one of the most sophisticated artificial intelligences produced by humanity: Enoch. When Captain Frederick Anderson awakens aboard the Methuselah a hundred years after the mission was due to land, he scarcely has time to play with his rock-hard erection before he realizes that something has gone terribly, horribly wrong. 

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In Love And War

With his brothers too busy fucking like jackrabbits through the entire male population of the Earth, Hades is left in charge of godly affairs up on Olympus since Hera, after her messy split with Zeus, has gone on to a more fulfilling marriage and wants nothing to do with the crown.

His only option is to leave his beloved Iron Prince, Perseus, in charge of the Underworld. With Ares agitating for war and the unbelievable amount of work that it would require from the ruler of the Underworld, Hades does what he believes is necessary: he gives Ares a lesson that only the Lord of the Underworld could.

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Teambuilding

I just made the football team for my university, and im super stoked! The coach is having us all meet up in the locker room later today, but his email mentioned something about new rules that he was gonna be enforcing this year. Some of the more senior players in the know seem antsy about it. I wonder if I should be worried?

Beta Patron Request by @Fen
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Muscle Fag

Hey Pink Fairy,

Why are straight guys so weird?

I was getting dressed after a great workout, when this really jacked dude I’ve seen around the gym walked up to the locker next to mine. Since we were standing right next to each other it seemed appropriate to make some small talk. So I said that I’d seen him around and it looked like he was hitting the weights pretty hard and that I was really impressed with his physique.

It was intended it purely as a compliment, but he got all weirded out like I was hitting on him or something. He says something about “no thanks…I don’t swing that way.” or something and stalked off after slamming his locker.

It was so embarrassing. And frustrating! I mean, ok, I guess he could tell I was gay. But just because a gay dude compliments you it doesn’t mean they’re trying to get in your pants!

I wish he could learn to loosen up a bit. I mean, the guy has a body of a fitness model. Why not be happy when someone appreciates it?

Alpha Patron Request by @masqulinity
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Gender Studies

Dr. Taron Burns is a sociologist by trade and has to teach a second year liberal arts course in order to satisfy the terms of his tenure appointment. He has a reputation as being a relatively easygoing teacher, a lenient marker, and all-around nice guy. This year, he’s talking about gender roles and how they help and hinder progress in broader human society. Only, something strange is happening: his class is shrinking and it seems to be the girls, without exception, who are dropping out of his class, along with some of the more timid boys. He doesn’t know what to make jockboys that stay in his class, but he certainly finds the way that they look at him distracting. 

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Sharing is Caring

Hey Pink Fairy,

I got assigned to share a suite with a couple of other guys at college this year. It is a pretty standard set up — we each have a small room for sleeping and studying with a common living area and bathroom to share.

The problem is my roommates, Brad and Zack. I just don’t mesh with them. I mean, I get it on some level. We don’t have a lot in common. They’re both jocks — tall, muscular, handsome, popular. And straight.

I’m fit, but kind of short and not terribly athletic. And I’m more of an intellectual. Me being gay hasn’t been too much of an issue for them, except…they’ve kind of made it clear that they don’t want me around much.

They treat our living area like their own private space so there is little space left for me or my stuff. They totally control the TV and gaming. And they even stop talking as soon as I enter the room, and sit there awkwardly until I finish what I’m doing and leave. I pretty quickly gave up any idea of hanging out with them, using the space, or…you know…having any kind of a relationship with either of them.

I have to be honest, they both make pretty nice eye candy. But I can’t even really enjoy that because I don’t want them to think I’m perving on them and give them even more of a reason to make things awkward around our place.

Truthfully, I’m getting kind of annoyed at the situation and being crammed in my little room all the time. I don’t need to crush on them, or be best friends with them or anything. I just wish they’d want to have me around more.

I sure could use your help.

Josh

Alpha Patron Request by @Masqulinity
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