Ah… Fuck… This isn’t good. I think I’m running dry… And I still have to finish this…

Hey, uh… Who are you, anyway? And what are you doing here?

Oh. Right. That. Interview for the school paper… I forgot. Silly me.

I think we’re beyond "did I come at an inconvenient time?" at this point. How long have you been standing there?

Uh huh. Right. And when you came in, you didn’t even bother knocking? When you saw me, naked, on the floor, doing homework with my ass in the air, you didn’t say anything? You didn’t even leave. Were you perving on me? What are you, some kind of faggot? Did you like what you saw?

Hnngh.

Am I getting hard? Fuck yeah I’m getting hard. I have a cock, dumbass. Everyone gets hard at weird times. What a fucking stupid question to ask. You have eyes, don’t you? Cocks don’t care how awkward the situation is.

Oh, now you ask why I’m naked on my living room floor, doing my Economics homework? Couldn’t you have started with that? That’s where normal people would have started. But I guess you were too busy staring at my fucking ass like the fag I’m sure you are.

And just to answer your question, what fucking business is it of yours what I do in the privacy of my own home?

Hnngh… Fuuuck…

No! Stay where you are. I most definitely did not moan. I am perfectly fine. No. I am not rubbing my p… My pus… My puss… I am not rubbing my hole.

Ahhh…

I-I’m not fingering myself… I just have an itch in my crack. Y-Yeah. T-That’s it. Let’s go with that. I’m just scratching my c-crack… ahh… That’s all.

Shit…

Duuuude. What are you going on about? Dean’s list? LOL. I can’t even—!

Ah… Shit… Yep… Definitely running dry now… Look, I have a condition, okay? I don’t have time to explain it to you! It’s going to get ugly in a few minutes, and I would really much rather not have some g-gur-jour—writer from the school paper around to see this.

Ugh! Fine! Stay if you want! Just stay where you are! And none of this is going on the record, got it? Or I’m going to make your life miserable, fag!

Unnhhh…

Bruh, Like, why are you so overdressed? Like, take off your shirt, dud—!

Okay. Breathe in. Breathe out. Stay in control. Yeah. I’m on top of the dean’s list. Well. Was. What of it? I’m sure you’ve heard of the fall by now. I bet it was the talk of the town. All those fucking s-sudo-pseu—fake i-in-inte—smart guys. Those fake smart guys were probably talking about how I went off the deep end, right?

What the fuck are you getting at, faggot?! Drugs? Never. I’m not that fucking desperate. And I know what they say… I’m not deaf! And I’ll have you know that I’m still in full possession of my i-intell-smartness. Of my smartness. Stop looking at me like that!

Like what? Like you’re fucking pitying me, fucker!

Mmmph…

Duuuude. Like, take off your shirt already… I want to see what you’re packing under all that clothes… I bet you’re yummy. Hey… What do you say… Come over here and massage my boypuss—!

No! Don’t come any closer!

A-ah!

…

Actually… Yeah. Okay. please. Just fucking do it, okay? But don’t say anything about it. It might help me last a little bit longer.

…

Massage my boypuss—asshole! Are you even listening? God!

Anyway… If you really want to know what happened to me, I guess you could give me an honest answer about what your first impressions of me were.

Unhh…

What does arroga—Don’t answer that! I know what that word means! A-roh-gant… Fuck… I just… It’s there. I just can’t… Yes, Thank you. For your unso-unsoci-unsolici—unwanted definition!

Goddamn it…

No, I’m not crying!

Oh… Ohh… Unhhh!!

Y-Yeah bruh… That’s it… That’s the fuckin’ spot… Yeah, dude… You’re like, so good at this… Fuuu—!

Shit. I don’t have much time left… OKay! Yeah. I was a goddamn prick, okay! I get it. But I don’t deserve this… I really don’t… God…

Mmmphh!

Y-Yeah bruh… Push that thumb in. Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah! That feels good. So good… I can just feel my brains slip—!

No! Fuck! I’ll be damned if I go down without a fight. A-Anyway… I apparently called this kid faggot too many times… Apparently he was a w-war-warl—magician. And he put this bad magic on me!

Ohhh… Hnnng!

Oh yeah, bruh! That’s the spot. Oh yeah. Fingerbang my boypussy. Oh yeah. That feels so good! I’m getting so dumb… So horny… So—!

Bro. No. Fuck. No. Fa—Bro. Fuck. I can’t not say it anymore.

Bro. I like, can’t go there again. I, like, just want it to stop. But like, this kid did this weird voodoo shit on me and I like, can’t get it hard thinking of chicks anymore. Like, not even when they’ve got this huge rack. Like, dude, not even this bimbo Veronica could get it up and she, like, had melons on her chest. And she was rubbing them all over me.

But, like, the moment I think of a dude’s junk, my little soldier stands straight up, you know? And like, it’s so sick… But it feels so good… But it’s so wrong!

Mmmmm…

Add another finger, bruh… Yeah… Your thumb’s not enough for this hungry jockpussy. Come on. Man up, dude! Like, bro, that doesn’t even do it anymore. Can’t feel it. Nope. Guess I’ll just become stupid as fuck and you won’t get to finish your interview.

Ohhh… Oh, yeah. That’s it. Fuck! What are you doing! That hurts!

Nnnh… Oh yeah! Spank that jock bubble, bro! Spit on it! Yeah! Uh! It feels so good! I just want to let g—!

No! No. Fuck. Bro. Like, I’m not done my story yet. So could you like, be a little patient. Didn’t you like… want like… What’s it called when it’s just you that has the story? Oh yeah. That’s right. I’m so fucking dumb, bro. Thanks.

Didn’t you like, want like, an eks-hloo-seev with me? Or did you just come to have some fun? You’re such a naughty boy, bro… Let me see what you’re hiding in those pants…

…What? Oh… Right. Thanks for reminding me, bro. Heh. What would I do without a smart guy like you around? Anyway, yeah, so, like, this magician kid does this thing to me. And now I can’t stop thinking about cock… Nice one there, by the way, bro. Oh yeah. I can see how hard you are, bro… I want a piece of that.

Oh, sorry, bro… Yeah… I’ll focus… For you. As long as you promise we can have some fun later.

So, yeah, like, he says that since I was such an asshole, my asshole could be like the new ‘sen-ter’ of my being. Whatever that means and stuff. And like, he said to me that I would be aware that I was smarter before and like…

Shit. Bro. Yeah. I was like, super-smart before, right? I had like, all D’s! Oh… Wait… Are D’s a high grade? No? Oh… Guess I wasn’t as smart before as I thought, then. But like, I thought D’s were like, awesome!

Heh. Yeah… D’s are awesome. And like, tasty, too, bro! If you know what I mean! Oh. Duh. Of course you know what I mean. You’re like, a super smart bro, right? Of course you’d know that D’s are yummy.

Anyway… I still think I used to have just D’s. Like, I get that you’re saying they were actually A’s, but like, that doesn’t make sense. But I guess you’re smart and all that so I guess I’ll believe you, bro. You know better, anyway. Probably.

Oh ffuuuuuck…

Yeah… That’s the stuff, bro! Three fingers.. Three fingers… I need to be full. Dumb. Empty in the head…

Oh, bro! I almost forgot… Like, you know the dude that did this to me, rite? So, like, he says to me, "If you want to get your een-te-lee-gens back," whatever that is, "Yu’ll have to have cum in your ass. And your een-te-lee-gens will only stay wile you have cum in yur ass."

Like, dude, I don’t even know what he’s going on about. Like, what even is this een-te-lee-gens that he’s talkin about? Why wood I even need that?

Oh… Een-te-lee-gens is like, smarts? Like, that’s what he took away from me, rite?

LOL. If you say so, bro. Like, to be onest, I don’t really want them back. I’m happy like this. Like, I don’t even understand haff of what this is. "Bay-seek al-gee-brah" Dude. This is for smart dudes like you. Dumb jockboys like me can’t even count past ten.

Nah, bro! I don’t think this is the curse, bro… Like, I don’t even member what bein’ smart is like. No fence, dude, but I think it would be so boring. Like, I’d rather have D’s all day. Oh, wait, that’s the high grade, rite, bro? Oh! No? That’ was A’s? Or was it the D’s? Fuck, man. Skool’s so hard.

Nevermined, bro. You just went and confused me. I meant, like, I’d rather have dicks and bros to play with all day. You smart guys can, like, run the world just as long as I get to have my fun. Heh. I’ll even do anything you say, bro… As long as you can give me a bone.

Unh…

Bro, like, I don’t even know what een-te-lee-gens is. Oh, yu just told me? LOL. Yu shouldn’t trust this dum jock brane bro. I forget important stuff like that all the tym. But, like, I don’t think I need whatever that is back, dude.

But like, I woodn’t complain if I got it back cus like, that means I have cum in my ass and that’s like the best place for cum to be other than in my mouth or my face.

Heh. I’m feeling a bit dry anyway… I could use a load in my pussy. Hey, bro, maybe you can put some in all three places when you’re done asking questions?

…

Bro, like, why did yu take yur fingers out? I was havin so much fun… Like, don’t you like my fagcunt? I thot yu were enjoyin it dude. Put yur fingers back, bro! Yu were like pressing my button!

Oh… Oh, yeah… I like that bro. Finally up for sum fun, dude? Damn… yu are yummy under that shirt.

Heh. Cum over here, bro. I like that look in yur eyes, bro… Be as rough as yu—unnhhh!—want. I— Ahhhh!! want yu to fuk sum een-te-lee-gens back into my bubble butt. Like, whatever that means, bro!

Unnhh…