So You Decided to Get a Human pt. 2

In this section of the quintessential guide to the care and ownership of humans, we talk about wild humans, how to tame them, begin training them to accept that only intelligent species—which humans aren’t—can truly have free-will, self-determination, and bodily autonomy, and how best to exploit their highly sexual nature to expedite the process.

Chapter 7 — Free-Range Humans

Domesticated humans are plentiful and affordable. They are well-trained, well-adjusted, and have few to no attitude problems, which makes them convenient for most would-be owners.

Some owners, however, prefer to own humans that are closer to their wild origins. Until recently, this left them with little choice but to purchase tamed humans or tame one themselves.

This has changed in recent cycles. Though a relatively new development in the pet-human industry, "free-range" breeders have quickly grown in popularity.

Fundamentally, "free-range" humans possess the same genetics as normal domesticated humans. The difference is in the way they are kept. Unlike other domesticated humans, "free-range" humans are kept in environments that closely mirror their natural habitat and are reared with minimal intervention from Immortals.

This results in a stock of humans that is as wild as domesticated humans can be while remaining part of the Greater Unison. They exhibit many of the same behaviors and tendencies that are observed in their truly wild cousins and for most Immortals who seek a human companion that is closer to their natural state, this is enough.

On the other hand, purists do not see "free-range" humans as an alternative to wild-caught humans. For one, "free-range" humans are subject to the same regulations for inoculation and are not nearly as vulnerable to threats from the Greater Cosmos as their truly wild counterparts. Furthermore, "free-range" humans, while consistently underperforming their properly domesticated cousins, score higher than their truly wild brethren in tests of altruism, open-mindedness, and desire to cooperate.

Consequently, the industry has backed away from marketing "free-range" humans as alternatives to wild-caught humans. Instead, they have been billed as pets for owners with intermediate experience who wish to have a taste of what it’s like to raise or tame a semi-wild human without the exorbitant price tag typically associated with wild-caught humans.

Chapter 7 — How to Tame a Human

Whether they seek to develop a deeper bond by taming their human from scratch or are simply chasing the "thrill of the hunt," some Immortals might prefer to take on a wild human as a project.

This is not a matter for the novice or the faint of heart. However, there currently exists no regulatory obstacle in the framework of the Greater Unison that would prevent a first-time owner from seeking a wild human. This is not, in the strongest of terms, advisable for a beginner.

Taming a wild human poses challenges that are otherwise absent when training a domesticated human. A prospective owner will have to be vigilant and determined. Humans in general are clever creatures and wild humans will do all in their power to resist, subvert, and ultimately escape their owner’s influence.

Of course, the process begins with obtaining a wild human. This may take the form of capturing one yourself, obtaining a wild-caught human from a professional procurer, or purchasing a "free-range" human from a reputable breeder.

If you are a novice human owner or if you have not owned humans before and you are not dissuaded by my earlier warnings, you should obtain a "free-range" human instead of the former. "Free-range" humans will provide a similar experience but are not as difficult to manage as truly wild humans are.

Upon a sale being finalized, wild humans are required to be sedated for at least 8 hours. Most reputable sellers will aim for 16 as a matter of standard procedure. This gives the prospective owner sufficient time to prepare for the challenges that come with owning a wild human, which inevitably start as soon as the sedation ends.

Accommodating Wild Humans

It may be tempting to secure one of the many models of luxury human habitation available on the market but this is not advisable. Many inexperienced owners may wrongly assume that it is important to keep a wild human comfortable. This is not the case.

Wild humans are deeply suspicious and distrustful. They are often aware that they have been removed from a familiar environment. Although there are habitats designed for the comfort and well-being of pet humans, wild humans are likely to see such accommodations as a threat or a sign of danger.

Some wild humans may openly embrace their new environs but this is not to be taken as a positive sign. Such humans may view their new surrounds as a rightfully earned reward or may find them to be an improvement of their old accommodations. Either way, these humans’ delusions of free will, self-determination, and intelligence are being reinforced—an undesirable outcome.

Such habitats must be reserved for a later date. When a wild human has been properly trained and cured of the parasitic thoughtforms that plague it, it may be gradually introduced to habitats designed for properly domesticated humans.

Until such time, a prospective owner must make other arrangements. It is recommended that they find an isolated space in their domicile where the wild human can be kept without being disturbed. Such a room should preferably have unadorned walls, restricted access to natural light, and no extraneous furniture.

An owner can then place a cage in the room. The bars should be spaced just close enough that the human can reach through them but not so far that the human can step through them.

The cage should be no taller than is necessary for the human to crawl around on all fours without touching the top. It should have enough space inside for the human to comfortably turn around on their hands and knees. And the floor should be padded in some way so the human can comfortably lie down to rest when needed. This padding should be easy to clean and must not be removable by the human.

No pillows, blankets, or sheets are to be provided. While it is commonly understood that humans thrive best when provided these comforts, they are not necessary for untrained wild humans. Indeed, they may be counterproductive in that regard.

Many wild-caught and free-range humans may be purchased wearing clothes—artificial body coverings they fabricate for themselves in the wild to protect themselves from the elements. These are to be confiscated and destroyed before the human awakens.

Clothes represent certain principles and values possessed by wild humans that reinforce their delusion that they are an intelligent species. As such, untrained wild humans must not be allowed clothes—or any means of covering themselves that may resemble clothing.

First Contact

An owner may choose to be present for the moment the human awakens to its new home. Attempts to communicate at this point are not advised, nor would be engaging the human’s attempts to communicate.

The objective is for the human to establish an association between its captivity and its owner. It is enough for the owner to make their presence known, typically through visual contact.

This association will almost always be adversarial, to begin with, but this is not a concern. Indeed, this is preferable as humans are innately competitive. They will fight to "win" their freedom from their captor in one way or another.

If they can be made to capitulate or recognize that there is no way for them to "win" on their terms, they are much more likely to recognize and accept their owner’s claim to them.

A wild human should be introduced to its cage before it regains consciousness. They are fundamentally physical creatures and are likely to lash out violently if allowed to awaken in the open.

This does not usually result in any lasting harm to the wild human’s Immortal owner but the human is at risk of inadvertent self-harm in the process. Though not universal to all wild humans, the instinct for self-preservation is sometimes temporarily suspended when a wild human finds itself in a life-and-death situation.

A human in a fight-or-flight response is capable of remarkable acts of destruction. A hormone known as adrenaline floods its body, increasing its strength and dampening its sense of pain. It can suffer serious injury and be unfazed until its adrenaline rush is over.

Although a wild human that awakens in a cage may still experience a fight-or-flight response, the cold reality of the cage reframes the situation. Without confinement, it may believe that it has control over its circumstances—that it might be able to escape if it fights hard enough. A sturdy and correctly sized cage should quickly disabuse it of this notion.

Make no mistake: the human is likely to struggle regardless. It may pull at the bars of its cage or attempt to ram its body against them.

For this reason, it is recommended that the human be placed in its cage with nothing else. They are clever and resourceful—anything that can be used as an improvised tool or weapon will be used as such.

This behavior is normal and intervention is not advised. While the human may injure itself in the process, such injuries are often superficial and treatable at a later time—as long as it is only able to use its natural endowments. Serious injuries only result if the human is allowed access to objects that can be used as improvised tools or weapons.

The human is likely to continue fighting its cage until one of two things happens: it expends its strength and wears itself out, or it realizes that resistance is futile and that it would be better served by conserving its energy for other endeavors. This process should be allowed to play out in full.

While it may be tempting to stay and watch the human struggle against its cage, it is recommended that the owner leave the room and return some time later. This gives the human time to steep in its own thoughts about its situation.

Furthermore, as social animals, humans do not take well to isolation. Given enough time, it will feel an instinctive sense of relief upon its owner’s return. This plants the seed for a more positive association with its owner.

The Cage

Training begins from the moment the human regains awareness and does not end until it has accepted the truth of its nature and its place in the framework of the Greater Unison. The cage itself doubles as a home and a tool for training the human mind.

Wild humans tend to believe that their upright posture sets them apart from other animals. They view their ability to stand on two legs as a sign of their exceptional place in the limited slice of the cosmos that they can perceive. Conversely, they view quadrupedal creatures as more primitive—as less intelligent.

When wild humans discover that it is physically impossible to stand straight in their cages, they may protest that they are being treated "like" animals or that they deserve to be treated like "people." This should be taken as a positive sign. It means that the human’s mind has associated its current circumstances with that of an animal.

Every moment that a wild human spends in its cage on all fours gradually conditions its mind into viewing itself as an animal. Its mind starts out framing its imprisonment as an injustice being perpetrated against it and it will resist and rail against the perceived wrong.

Ultimately, human adaptation will do much of the work of changing its frame of reference. As time passes and it becomes clear to the human that there is no escape for it, its perspective will shift.

First, it will bemoan its situation. It will find its owner’s treatment unfair. Then, it will accept that its owner views it as little more than an animal. Then, it will wonder what makes it different from an animal now that it can only crawl like an animal would.

Eventually, it will realize that the distinction is functionally meaningless—that it has been in its cage for so long that it might as well be an animal. Then, it will realize that it has become a kept animal. And finally, it will come to accept that it is an animal and may have always been an animal.

Establishing Routine

Humans paradoxically require both novel experiences and routine to thrive. When training a wild human, however, it is the latter that is most relevant.

The exact reasons for why routine is so effective are ill-understood but it is believed that uncertainty is the primary stressor for humans in the wild. Routine shields humans from uncertainty by creating structure, building familiarity, and engendering a sense of constancy.

The effect is subconscious but nevertheless significant. Humans that do not have to worry about food, shelter, and security are friendlier, more open-minded and altruistic, and less inhibited. Additionally, they exhibit significantly lower levels of stress, anxiety, prejudice, and paranoia.

As regards the training of humans, routine takes advantage of one of their most remarkable qualities: their adaptability. Although they may resist at first, humans can adapt to their circumstances with incredible speed.

While humans adapt to chaotic, changing circumstances as well as they do to anything, they are best able to adapt to situations that are repetitive or cyclical in nature. Routines are therefore ideal and, better yet, the repetitive nature of routine ensures that the human’s adaptation is regularly reinforced.

Over time, humans become so accustomed to routine that compliance becomes a subconscious function. Such a human performs the tasks assigned with little to no resistance or conscious mental effort. Given enough time, the human might internalize its routine as its duty and derive some sense of purpose therefrom.

As such, it is highly advised that a routine be established for a wild human as soon as possible. Resistance is natural and to be expected, but patience and determination are imperative.

A human in isolation inevitably acquiesces. Denied stimulation, it will cling to routine as a means of coping with its circumstances, however begrudgingly. This is enough to begin to condition its primitive mind toward obedience.

Such routines need not be dramatic or complex. Constancy and repetition are the vital elements thereof. Feeding the human at the same time every day is a simple and effective means of establishing a routine. Scheduling visits at certain times of the day is another—with the added benefit of building the human’s familiarity with you.

There is one particular routine that all owners are advised to start as soon as possible: hygiene. As mentioned in an earlier chapter, humans are uniquely vulnerable to threats that would otherwise pose no risk of harm to even infant Immortals. Keeping them healthy is a constant battle. The earlier a human becomes accustomed to regular cleanings, the easier it will be to keep them healthy and safe from Greater Cosmic threats in the future.

The best time to begin training a human to accept a new hygiene routine is a day or two after introducing it to its cage. This gives the human enough time to adjust to its new circumstances. Humans do not respond well to rapid changes in their environment.

Be forewarned, however, that taking the necessary time to establish a hygiene routine correctly also gives the human time to plan and muster its energy for an escape attempt before the first session and between each subsequent one. To minimize the risks to property and the human’s well-being, it is highly advisable to conduct any hygiene-related training in a different part of the domicile entirely.

Furthermore, the moment that requires the most vigilance when building a hygiene routine for a human is the moment when it is retrieved from its cage. A later section will discuss how to manage an unruly human, but suffice it to say, physical means of restraint like rope or cord are recommended in this case to minimize the risk of harm to the human.

Though more convenient means exist, they are not advisable to use at this early stage of training. The reasons for this will be discussed later. For now, it is very important to use physical restraints like rope or the like.

NOTE: Until such time as a human has come to accept its role in the framework of the Greater Unison and internalized that it is not an intelligent creature but a primitive beast whose role is to serve and provide companionship to its Immortal owner, owners must never unlock or open their human’s cage unless it is sufficiently restrained. They are clever, resourceful creatures and are known to take advantage of even momentary lapses in attention.

The Bath Routine

Once a human has been restrained and retrieved from its cage, it is time to begin its hygiene training. As mentioned in an earlier section, it may be helpful to start with a spiritual water bath. The soothing, euphoric, mildly-intoxicating effect of spiritual water will serve to lower a human’s aggression, inhibitions, and stress.

Soaking a wild human for 5–10 minutes is typically enough to eliminate the risk of it inadvertently harming itself in an attempt to struggle out of its owner’s control. During this time, the human may visibly relax as it sits in its spiritual water pool.

Removing the restraints at this point is an easy mistake to make. It may seem that a relaxed human is less likely to fight its owner but the restraints are a vital part of the human’s ability to relax.

As with the cage, which allows humans to immediately realize that they are in a situation where they are powerless, the restraints perform a similar role. Denying the human’s ability to struggle allows it to turn its energy elsewhere. Removing the restrictions will give them the impression that they do have the ability to escape.

Therefore, it is not advisable to release the human’s restraints even during its bath routine—at least until it is better trained and can be trusted not to attempt escape.

Once the human has sufficiently relaxed under the influence of its spiritual water bath, the owner can proceed with a more thorough cleaning. Token resistance can be expected at this point, but if the recommended precautions have been followed, any struggling should be of little consequence.

It is important not to take shortcuts when it comes to training humans. Although the use of a simple spell would be more convenient and extensive, conducting a manual cleansing of the human is highly advisable.

Touch is one of the humans’ most important senses. Intimacy is shown and developed between them through the touching of skin to skin. Emulating this process engenders a similar sort of intimacy between the human and owner, especially if the human is in a spiritual-water-induced state of heightened suggestibility.

While under the influence of spiritual water, even a brand-new wild human can show signs of arousal and enjoyment of its owner’s touch. It may even begin to reciprocate by nuzzling against whatever limp, digit, or appendage its owner uses.

This is a positive sign but it is the result of a state of lowered inhibitions and heightened suggestibility, which in humans is primarily governed by their instincts. When the influence of spiritual water weakens enough for their consciousness to reassert itself, they may find their actions to be vulgar or revolting.

A new owner may find this distressing but this is no cause for concern. Wild humans are almost universally afflicted with notions of bodily autonomy and view unsolicited intimate touches from non-members of their closest social bonds to be a violation of their personal boundaries.

Such ideas must not be encouraged. Humans are animals, first and foremost. Bodily autonomy and personal boundaries are the provinces of intelligent beings. Humans may only have bodily autonomy and personal boundaries as their owners allow—and these are never inviolable.

As such, novice owners may rest assured: it is perfectly acceptable to conduct manual cleansing of their humans, however much their humans may object to such intimate contact. Given enough time, the human will adapt and come to enjoy its owner’s touch.

This process can be expedited by exploiting humans’ highly sexual nature. That is to say, humans learn to enjoy activities that reward them with sexual pleasure much faster than activities that do not. Manual cleansings during bath time are no exception.

If an owner decides to make use of sexual stimulation, a light touch is highly recommended. While some humans may enjoy rougher treatment, their bodies are remarkably sensitive to touch, and many humans respond better to a gentler hand, digit, or appendage.

It is advisable to conduct the manual cleansing of a human while it is still in its spiritual water bath. The benefits are twofold: first, continued contact with spiritual water ensures that the human remains in its euphoric, highly-suggestible state, and second, the spiritual water acts as a lubricant, reducing the risk of irritating humans’ sensitive skin.

Techniques may vary according to owners’ preferences and their anatomical configuration but it has been found that slow, light-handed, repetitive rubbing is the most effective means of eliciting the desired arousal response from a human. Faster and heavier stimulation produces similar responses, but training outcomes are consistently better when employing more controlled stimulation.

It has been suggested that more aggressive stimulation leads to undesirable outcomes because it mimics the kind of stimulation that a human might experience while mating with another human. Humans that would otherwise be penetrative mating partners may then erroneously believe that the stimulation is being done for their sake, reinforcing a false internal narrative of control.

While slow and gentle stimulation can and does lead to climax if permitted, humans in the wild seek faster, more aggressive stimulation as they approach sexual fulfillment. The absence thereof leads to sexual frustration.

This is the desired outcome for several reasons. First, this teaches the human that control over its sexual pleasure belongs to its owner and not to itself. Second, sexual frustration triggers a deep-seated need for release in humans. As this builds, they become more submissive and obedient, which can further be reinforced by reserving orgasms as a reward for good behavior.

Certain areas of the human body cause greater levels of arousal when stimulated. These are known as erogenous zones and should be exploited as best as possible. While these vary in location and configuration from one human to the next the hips, the waist, the buttocks, the inner thighs, the chest, the nipples, the shoulders, arms, the back of the ear, the clavicle, and, of course, the genitalia, are some of the most common erogenous zones.

Stimulation should be focused on these areas but not to an excess. As these are the most sensitive parts of the human body, they are also the most likely to cause pain if treated too roughly. Care should be exercised as causing significant pain or discomfort for the human may lead to the development of an antagonistic impression of the owner.

If the stimulation is carried out correctly, the human will let its owner know. All humans are vocal about their pleasure. Grunts, moans, and whimpers are common vocalizations that they produce when they experience sexual pleasure.

Some humans, influenced by the peculiar religions and ideologies that they develop in the wild, may attempt to suppress their vocalizations. In this case, patience is advised. An owner need only persevere in stimulating their human in the right way, in the right places and they will be rewarded. Not even the most repressed of humans are able to resist their instinctive expressions of sexual arousal indefinitely.

If at any point, the human begs or pleads—be it for release or to ask for further stimulation in a specific region of its body—these must fall on deaf ears. This will serve to prolong the human’s sexual frustration and will teach it that its pleasure is the province of its owner’s will—that it has no control over how its owner will use its body.

It is vital to pay close attention to the human’s reactions during this period of sexual stimulation. Human expressions of pain and pleasure are very similar and may be difficult to distinguish for the novice owner. Learning how to differentiate is of critical importance.

A good rule of thumb is to watch how the human moves relative to the stimulus. A human that is experiencing pain or discomfort is likely to pull away from the source thereof. A human that is experiencing pleasure, on the other hand, is likely to move toward the source of its pleasure. This is not a hard and fast rule but is a good gauge of whether the human is enjoying itself or not.

These sexual stimulation sessions should not last longer than 10-15 minutes. While it is perfectly acceptable to give a human a long, luxurious bath, such should be reserved for when they are better trained and have shown that they accept their place in the framework of the Greater Unison.

What follows will necessitate a heavier touch than previous as the human will have to undergo an internal cleansing which even trained humans can find unpleasant. Nevertheless, it is an important part of maintaining the human’s hygiene and teaching it that its body is its owner’s to do with as they please.

It is recommended that the human be placed facing the exterior of its bathing basin near the edge. This makes keeping them in place easier as they are bound to squirm and writhe during their internal cleansing.

Again, it is not recommended to take shortcuts in this endeavor. The more physical contact there is between a human and its owner, the better. Spells and specially-designed enemas are best reserved for when the human is better trained and cured of any delusions as to the extent of its intelligence.

To minimize any disruptive struggling, the best way to hold a human during its internal cleansing is by pressing it against the rim of the bathing basin while simultaneously keeping its lower body submerged in spiritual water.

If there is not enough spiritual water in the basin to submerge the human’s lower half, add more until the level rises to just under the human’s ribs. The excess is required as the amount needed to thoroughly clean the human’s interior may drop the water level.

When the human is in place, the owner can begin. Spiritual water can be pushed into the human’s body by repeatedly inserting a finger or slender appendage—based on the owner’s anatomical structure—into the human’s anus. Owners must ensure that they fully remove the penetrating appendage from the human between every insertion.

Each penetration of the human’s rear entrance will force a small amount of spiritual water into its body as long as its lower half is kept under the water level. Eventually, enough pressure will build up inside the human that spiritual water will begin gushing out of them without intervention.

The solution is simple: increase the pace of insertion. If the human is penetrated rapidly enough, its inner muscles should have no opportunity to expel spiritual water.

It is common for the human to experience arousal during this process. The penetration mimics human sex and they respond instinctively—even the ones that would have been penetrative partners in the wild.

Associating sexual pleasure with internal cleansing is a good way to reduce future discomfort with the procedure. A good way to do so would be to stimulate a bundle of nerves in the human’s prostate gland while forcing spiritual water into its body. A sufficiently thick appendage should be able to do so by virtue of its girth but an owner using their finger or a more slender appendage may need to vary the angle of their thrusting to directly stimulate the prostate.

Owners can expect their human’s abdominal area to look swollen and distended as they fill with spiritual water. However bloated a human might appear, however, an owner should not stop filling it with spiritual water until the pressure builds to the point that it spews spiritual water out of its mouth. Once this has occurred, the human has been sufficiently filled.

Now that the human has been sufficiently filled with spiritual water, it is time to use it to clean the inside of the human’s body. Fortunately, this is a rather simple task.

The owner should use their appendage to keep the human’s rear entrance plugged. If available, a second appendage should be used to plug the human’s front entrance. Otherwise, commercially available human plugs can be used in place of any missing appendages—it is important to keep at least one appendage free for what follows.

While applying firm, consistent pressure, the owner should rub the human’s distended belly in slow, circular motions for around 15 minutes. Then, without varying the pressure, the owner should rub the bloated abdomen up and down for another 15 minutes.

The motion induced on the spiritual water inside the human’s body should suffice to dislodge any dirt, contaminants, and pathogens. This is the most uncomfortable part of the process for humans and owners can expect tears and struggling. These must not be acknowledged.

The human’s plugs—or the appendages plugging the human’s orifices—may be removed once the process is done. Many humans will naturally expel the tainted water from their bodies at this point, but some may need further assistance. If this occurs, simply apply direct pressure to the human’s swollen abdomen and tainted water should be expelled out of both ends.

At this point, the human may orgasm from overstimulation. This should not be prevented the first few times in order to build positive associations with the process in the human’s mind. Later on, these post-washing orgasms may be limited to keep the humans docile and subservient, with post-washing climaxes reserved as a reward for good behavior.

The human is likely to be exhausted at the end of its bath. This will normally be a good time to conduct some cleaning and maintenance of its mindscape but this is ill-advised when dealing with a freshly caught wild human.

Though the strength of its body may be spent, the human is likely to retain the strength of its mind. Its mental defenses may be primed and may lash out if any direct modification is attempted. This is typically harmless to Immortals but may result in some damage to the human as they have no conscious control over their mental defenses.

For at least the first few sub-cycles, it should suffice for the owner to wash their lower consciousness over the human’s mind so that the human can begin to get accustomed to the texture of its owner’s mind.

(To be continued)

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