So You’ve Decided to Get a Human

Humans can be a valuable and loving companion for an Immortal, but owning one is not necessarily a walk in the park. In this volume we will aim to answer any and all questions you might have about what it’s like to own a pet human and how best to care for one.

Preface

Pet ownership can be one of the most fulfilling experiences in one’s eternal life but taking responsibility for the care of another living being is not something that can be considered trivial. Pet owners must not only take note of their pets’ physical, mental, and spiritual needs, but they must also carefully weigh how they interact with their pets to provide them with a joyful and fulfilling existence.

Before you read this book, you must keep one thing in mind: while this volume may provide advice about how to take care of a pet human, this is general advice that may work in most cases but does not necessarily apply to all of them.

Any pet owner, from the greenest of novices to the most seasoned of veterans must always remember that our pets have personalities of their own that must be taken into account whenever interacting with them. To try and shoehorn general solutions into situations specific to you and your pet will inevitably end in tragedy and potential injury.

All that is to say that as you read this volume, take what you read with a grain of salt as the advice contained herein may not necessarily apply to your situation or to the unique relationship that you have with your pet.

Nevertheless, the techniques contained herein are the result of centuries of hard work by human specialists and behaviorists. While not all of the advice here might be relevant to you and your human, much of it is likely to apply. After all, while each human may have a different personality and outlook in life, they are all still humans, with basic needs and wants like any other human.

By carefully learning what makes your particular human tick and how to deal with potentially problematic behaviors in a way that works best with its personality, you can yet become a veteran owner of a well-trained human.

Chapter 1 — What is a Human?

Homo pseudosapiens, (humans) are a species of bi-brachial bipedal great ape. They subsist on an omnivorous diet that includes meat, plants, and fungi and are capable of growing their sustenance provided a suitable environment and the resources to do so.

Humans are sexually dimorphic, exhibiting a high degree of psychological and physiological dissimilarity between the two general sexes: male and female, though there are documented cases of individual humans that do not conform to the sexual binary.

H. pseudosapiens reproduce primarily through sexual means. In some cases, they make use of tools and rudimentary medical technology to assist in the process.

While these procedures may be similar to reproductive treatments available to all Immortals, human reproductive medicine is still fundamentally sexual.

This may seem strange to the first-time owner but it is entirely natural. As lesser beings, H. pseudosapiens have not evolved to the extent that they can dispense with the risk of traumatic sexual reproduction to embrace the pure joy of sexual intimacy.

Though how they reproduce may seem frightfully primitive, humans demonstrate advanced social behaviors. They have a high capacity for learning and situational adaptation and possess a highly complex emotional self—though this can often be at odds with itself.

H. pseudosapiens are quite intelligent. They can grasp fragments of Universal Truth despite possessing a very narrow scope of perception. They can be fiercely independent and able to establish a self-sufficient existence if given the means and the freedom to do so. They can solve difficult problems that can involve the complex dynamics between multiple systems, often with very little information to build solutions off of.

Humans, however, are also quite fragile and defenseless. Having evolved in a habitat isolated from the greater cosmos, they are ill-equipped to deal with threats even infant Immortals may find trivial. As such, they must be treated with great care. Domesticated humans must be kept in controlled environments and should only be allowed to explore the greater cosmos under strict supervision.

Wild Humans

In the wild, humans congregate in highly-complex, highly-stratified social structures known as ‘nations’. These social structures are often subdivided into multiple levels of increasing intimacy.

Though samples of their literature present highly sophisticated philosophy and science, humans are considered pseudo-sapient. They possess what scientists would consider to be some of the cornerstones of sapience: the capacity for introspection and the ability to ponder the reason for their existence and their place in the wider world, but they are sadly lacking in many other aspects.

For instance, most humans are unable to perceive Mana, much less touch the High Arts. The few who do possess the talent to reach further are capable of no more than the basics even infants learn to do on instinct. Concepts many Immortals consider to be rather basic, such as the Higher Arcana of the High Arts, are entirely beyond the realm of human conception.

Furthermore, humans are incapable of higher-order empathetic communion with other members of their species. They do demonstrate zeroth-order empathetic communion with members of their immediate kin and first-order empathetic communion with those they share physical, social, or psychological traits with but even this capacity is limited.

The human inability to properly inhabit and internalize the psychological and emotional state of other members of their species is evidenced by their penchant for exploitative greed, prejudice, and ideological conflict. Often, this manifests in something unimaginable in modern Immortal society: the outbreak of large-scale military violence between members of the same species.

An examination of human communities in their natural habitat shows why they are so prone to self-brutalization. Discord is a fact of life in human settlements. They segregate themselves into primitive hierarchies based on wealth, physical prowess, and aesthetic appeal among other things.

Conflict both within and between the different strata of human societies is entrenched. They found systems on adversarial principles, having never evolved to overcome the gulf between the just self and the dangerous other.

This is not to say that wild humans are perpetually embroiled in a state of conflict. Indeed, they are capable of incredible feats of cooperation like any sapient species. However, wild humans often elect to act in selfish, individualistic ways more often than not.

In many cases, cooperation is forced on wild human communities by outside pressures. Regrettably, their inability to engage in higher-order empathetic communion exposes even this defense mechanism to internal sabotage.

Case in point: the humans’ natural habitat of Terra is facing an unprecedented climate catastrophe—an existential threat to the human race—but collective action is hampered by the aristocratic and ruling strata of the majority of nations.

Humans also suffer from an inflated sense of self-importance. They call themselves Homo sapiens sapiens, believing themselves to be the supreme and only intelligent species in their natural habitat.

Naturally, this belief is mistaken on account of all the points outlined above, but the collective delusion is so strong that wild humans are often unable to accept the truth. While this may be the case for the wild human, the domesticated human is a different story.

The Domesticated Human

Unlike the wild human, domesticated humans are born and reared within the social framework of the Greater Unison. They are aware of the origins of their species and the shortcomings thereof. They understand their nature as primitive, pseudo-sapient beings incapable of experiencing the infinite brilliance of the Greater Cosmos.

Domesticated humans accept their place as pets and are at their happiest when they are cared for by an Immortal owner. They recognize that their purpose is to provide companionship and enrichment for their masters and are predisposed to fierce loyalty once they develop an emotional and empathetic bond with their owners.

Some scholars might argue that domesticated humans are more evolved than their wild counterparts as being with an Immortal owner allows them to touch the extremities of higher-order empathetic communion. Though they remain incapable of initiating higher-order empathetic communion on their own, they can be drawn into it by a skilled owner.

It is well-documented that humans in empathetic communion with one another—as a result of sharing an owner or being part of a collectively owned human community, for instance—are far happier, more altruistic, and exhibit greater degrees of cooperative behavior.

Unlike in the wild, human communities under the auspices and guidance of their Immortal owners are harmonious, peaceful, and flourishing. Such congregations are largely free of the internal conflicts and factional splintering exhibited by wild human ‘nations.’

Even solitary domesticated humans can benefit from empathetic communion with their masters. They become more attentive and can better anticipate their owner’s moods and needs. Owned domestic humans with an owner also exhibit a lowered intensity and rate of incidence of anxiety and depression contrasted with ownerless domestic humans.

Domesticated humans are also very curious and rather brave. It is not uncommon for them to spend their first milli-cycle in their owner’s home exploring their new surroundings.

This curiosity does not stop at the boundaries of their immediate environment. Domesticated humans are ever-hungry for novel experiences and it would behoove the would-be owner to understand this aspect of their nature as humans thrive best when introduced to new experiences on a semi-regular basis.

Another thing to note about domesticated humans is that they are very sexually motivated. This owes to the evolutionary impulse to procreate, which their species has yet to overcome. This often leads to humans desiring to explore sexual intimacy with their owners.

This is a natural part of human ownership and should be one of the first considerations to be made when thinking of getting one as a pet. Humans that want sexual gratification from their owners and are denied—or worse, given the attention they need but in a disinterested manner—are likely to suffer psychological harm as a result over time.

If a domesticated human shows sexual interest in its owner, and the owner is open to the idea, its desires should be indulged. Unlike most pets, domesticated humans are semi-sapient and are thus capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.

Fortunately, domesticated humans are sexually compatible with the vast gamut of possible Immortal physiologies. Though ultimately care must be taken to cause as little distress to the human as possible, there should be no major complications when indulging in sexual intimacy with a domesticated human.

We will return to this topic in a later section: "Sex With A Human."

Section 2 — Where Can I Get A Human?

Before an Immortal can own their first human, they are required by the framework of the Greater Unison to undertake and complete a basic human ownership course, which includes a licensure examination.

Furthermore, owners of humans are required to complete refresher courses at least once every three cycles. This requirement narrows to once in the past quarter of a cycle if an existing human owner would like to obtain one or more new humans.

Once an Immortal has obtained a human ownership license from the framework of the Greater Unison, they are ready to obtain their new companion. Broadly speaking, pet humans can be legally obtained in four different ways: purchasing from a licensed breeder, adopting from an accredited shelter, hiring a professional procurer, and obtaining a special dispensation to capture one.

Each of these methods has positives and negatives which shall be discussed here. Ultimately, the method that you should choose is the one most compatible with your situation and your moral convictions.

Licensed Human Breeders

Obtaining a pet human from a licensed breeder is likely to be the most convenient option for most would-be owners. Typically, an interested Immortal need only examine the breeder’s stock of pet humans and, should they find one that strikes their fancy, pay the associated fees and costs.

All necessary paperwork should then be handled by the breeder. This includes pedigree documentation, associating the pet with the new owner’s license, medical and vaccination records, and an ownership turnover. At most reputable breeders, the entire process should take no more than twenty minutes.

Several things must be considered when purchasing a human from a breeder, however. First and foremost, it is of vital importance that a prospective owner ensure that the breeder they are purchasing from is reputable and in compliance with Greater Unison regulations.

The following are a few red things a prospective owner can keep an eye out for:

  1. Female humans
  • The use of female humans for breeding new human generations is barbaric and obsolete. New Greater Unison regulations forbid the sale, purchase, and ownership of female humans as pets. Furthermore, regulations on human breeding cover the use of only pre-approved fertility brands that ensure healthy, all-male litters.
  1. Cages
  • While some humans have no trouble living in cages, the average human requires 8 talis to maintain its psychological well-being. While display cages are fine and indeed recommended for the safety of humans and prospective owners, a breeder that primarily keeps their humans in cages may not be treating them correctly.
  1. Too Many Humans
  • A breeder with a large variety of humans available for sale may seem attractive at first glance, but it is important to consider whether the facilities are suitable to house so many humans at any given time. While domesticated humans are less prone to violence and conflict compared to their wild counterparts, overcrowding can cause considerable physiological and psychological harm.
  1. Absent Breeding Pairs
  • Under the framework of the Greater Unison, a prospective owner has the right to examine the breeding pair that produced a particular human and all the associated paperwork thereof. Before making a purchase final, one of the most important pieces of due diligence that a prospective owner can undertake is to ask for the breeding pair to be shown alongside the offspring for comparison—and to confirm that the pedigree of the human is credible.
  • If a breeder is cagey or refuses to present the breeding pair and accompanying documentation upon request, it is recommended that the prospective owner step away from the transaction and report the incident to the authorities. Electing to proceed with the transaction may lead to the purchase of a human with questionable providence or worse, becoming an accessory to the crime of commerce involving illegal and improperly documented humans, which carries a hefty fine and potential detention, based on the purchase’s jurisdiction.

While the above list covers the most important considerations to make when approaching a human breeder, it is important to note that it is by no means exhaustive.

For the sake of our human pets, it is incumbent upon all prospective human owners to be vigilant. As superior beings, Immortals must be stewards of lesser folk, and part of that responsibility is ensuring that unsavory characters are not rewarded for their behavior.

While it is easy to opt for the convenience of purchasing from a breeder, the general ease of the process does not absolve the prospective owner of the responsibility of doing their due diligence and ensuring that they are obtaining their humans from conscientious, respectable, and ethical breeders.

Accredited Human Shelters

Though the framework of the Greater Unison provides safety and security for all Immortals that live under its auspices, the Greater Cosmos is a cruel and merciless place.

Immortals are not invincible and while uncommon, it is not unheard of for an Immortal to suffer debilitating accidents that may take thousands of cycles to recover from. In rare cases, Immortals may suffer from a total eradication of the Tripartite Being—a concept lesser beings such as humans may equate with death.

Though often any pet humans these unfortunate individuals have are remanded into the custody of relatives, in severe cases, they are taken in by institutions that have been accredited by the framework of the Greater Unison. These facilities are specially equipped to rehabilitate pet humans that have often been through traumatic separation from their masters.

As accredited shelters are directly supervised by the framework of the Greater Unison, there is little to fear concerning their treatment of humans. Humans brought to accredited shelters lead rich, fulfilling lives, albeit ones devoid of owners until they are adopted out.

Note, however, that choosing to adopt a human from an accredited shelter is far from convenient. Indeed, to do so may require navigating a substantial amount of red tape. The framework of the Greater Unison goes to great lengths that humans in shelters find their way to good homes and this is directly reflected in the number of checks that prospective adopters must pass.

Nevertheless, if a prospective owner can stomach the process and successfully apply to adopt a human from an accredited shelter, doing so is widely considered a noble and compassionate act. Humans at accredited shelters have experienced, through no fault of their own, a dramatic overturning of their lives and the loss of their homes. By adopting one, a prospective owner soothes the wounds in the human’s heart and fills the void left behind by the owner they once had.

Needless to say, adopting a human from an accredited shelter is not an easy task. Even beyond the bureaucracy that surrounds the mechanisms for ensuring that rescued humans are sent to good homes, rescued humans themselves can pose a unique challenge for prospective owners.

Owing to their nature as highly-social creatures, humans are particularly vulnerable to psychological distress resulting from unexpected and traumatic separation from important figures in their lives. This necessitates a greater degree of care and attentiveness when taking in a rescued human.

As such, beginners should consider obtaining their first human from a breeder unless they can rely upon the wisdom and supervision of a more experienced human owner.

Hiring a Professional Procurer

Trying to find a human companion at an accredited shelter or a licensed breeder can be a game of chance. If a prospective owner is looking for something specific, there is a possibility that they might not find what they desire at the aforementioned places.

For prospective owners of particular tastes, a potential option is to hire a professional human procurer to obtain a human that matches their tastes. As such an undertaking requires a considerable amount of effort and resources, this option is the most expensive. Furthermore, depending on how stringent a prospective owner’s requirements are, this option may also take the most time.

In exchange, a prospective owner is more likely to be matched with the human of their dreams through a professional procurer than through breeders and shelters.

Part of the cost of hiring a procurer is getting access to their network of contacts and resources, which reaches further than any Immortal can on their own.

Reputable procurers obtain their leads from fellow procurers and provide them with leads in turn. In this way, they can be alerted when a human that matches their clients’ requirements becomes available—even if that human is halfway across the Greater Cosmos.

Furthermore, professional procurers have other means of obtaining humans. Most have contracts with licensed hunters and trappers who can visit the humans’ natural habitats to catch a wild human for a prospective owner.

Most reputable procurers also have connections to human training centers, where a wild-caught human can be tamed and brought into the harmony of the framework of the Greater Unison. These added services naturally cost more, but for the discerning human owner, often the price is worth the final product.

While disreputable procurers are quickly weeded out by Greater Unison regulations and their fellow procurers, it is still important that a prospective human owner do their due diligence.

A prospective owner has a right to any and all documentation associated with the procurement of their human, down to the licenses of hunters and trappers that may have been involved in the process.

Furthermore, a prospective owner should ensure that their procurer of choice has a valid license to procure humans for clients. Indeed, the furnishing of a valid license should be the first step of any negotiation with a professional procurer.

Capturing Your Own Human

This method of obtaining a human will not be covered at length in this book as a short section cannot do justice to the complexity of this undertaking.

We cannot, however, advise that prospective owners opt for this choice. Not only is obtaining the special dispensation required prohibitively difficult, but attempting to capture a wild human is also incredibly challenging at every step—to say nothing of the expense and difficulty of taming said human.

That this option is mentioned at all in this volume is the result of considerable deliberation. It is here because we do not believe in wilfully obscuring information from prospective owners and so that we can adequately warn against following this path.

Even should the prospective owner desire a wild-caught human, it is, in most cases, far more cost-and-time-effective to hire a professional procurer to obtain one. The ‘thrill of the hunt,’ as some might describe it, is not worth the risk to the unprepared.

The authors of this volume wholeheartedly and categorically recommend against taking this path.

Chapter 3 — How Do I Take Care of My Human?

The conventional wisdom purports that humans are paradoxically easy and quite difficult to care for. Their ability to be self-sufficient and independent permits a relatively hands-off approach to their care, but at the same time, their vulnerability to psychological harms—some of which they might not even be aware of—necessitates close supervision.

In reality, there is no such thing as a healthy hands-off approach to caring for a human, especially in the circumstances that most prospective owners might have. Indeed, a hands-off approach is only truly feasible when keeping humans in an environment that is as close to their natural habitat as possible while still under the auspices of the framework of the Greater Unison. However, even in these cases, regular attention is still necessary.

Dietary Habits

As briefly mentioned in an earlier chapter, humans can subsist on mixed diets of meat and plant matter. This does not mean, however, that it is healthy—or indeed acceptable—to feed a pet human from an Immortal’s table scraps. This is especially true of wild-caught humans.

Quantity and frequency of feeding are two things that new human owners can often get wrong. Humans are capable of consuming more food than they strictly require, storing the excess as fat. This is an evolutionary response that allows them to survive times of food scarcity.

Under the auspices of the framework of the Greater Unity, however, humans are regularly fed by their owners. If the size and frequency of meals are not controlled, humans can become overweight and develop several physiological problems.

Variety is another important consideration to make. This is not only concerning the types of food that are given to a pet human, but also the meals themselves.

Humans thrive best with a variety of foods in their meals. While many are perfectly happy consuming only meat or only plants, human health is best promoted with a mixed diet of both.

Furthermore, while most non-sapient pets may be happy receiving the same meals at every feeding time, this is not the case for humans. Humans thrive on a variety of experiences and being forced to consume the same meal—however luxurious—can result in substantial harm.

For this reason, it is suggested that human owners plan a list of a dozen or so different meals that can be rotated every two or three milli-cycles. This number of meals should suffice to keep the human’s diet varied enough to prevent harm.

Human owners should, however, be encouraged to experiment with meals for their pets. These ‘experimental’ meals need not become a part of the regular rotation but if the human displays a particular affinity for one, in particular, it may be worth considering reintroducing the meal for special occasions or as a reward for good behavior.

Hygiene

Humans are remarkably resistant to the pathogens that exist in their natural habitat. They accomplish this by creating artificial body coverings—similar to what we Immortals call clothes—that protect their skin from topical infestation and through the use of rudimentary concoctions that can directly fight infections or train their bodies to resist pathogens in a manner reminiscent of our medicines and vaccinations.

While these behaviors suited them in their natural habitat, they are not to be encouraged under the auspices of the framework of the Greater Unison. The desire for artificial body coverings is an evolutionary impulse rooted in self-preservation but research has shown that humans are happiest when they are allowed to be in their natural, uncovered state.

While they may be resilient against pathogens from their natural environment, humans have no endemic resistance against threats from the Greater Cosmos. For this reason, it is encouraged that human owners subject them to regular hygiene routines to ensure they remain in good health.

Such routines must naturally include a physical cleansing. In most cases, spiritual water is sufficient and safe for use.

Note, however, that some humans—especially wild-caught humans and ‘free-range’ domesticated humans—may initially show resistance to being exposed to spiritual water. Fortunately, this reluctance is often temporary as spiritual water has a soothing and slightly-euphoric effect on humans.

Indeed, once a human becomes accustomed to spiritual water baths, owners may find themselves with the opposite problem—with their humans actively seeking spiritual water to soak in. While harmless, such behavior should be discouraged.

While it may be convenient to use a simple spell for the physical cleansing, many human behaviorists would suggest that a prospective owner undertake a manual cleansing of their human, especially when the human is a new member of the household, as the physical intimacy is a way to develop and nourish the empathetic bond between pet and master.

Furthermore, it is not uncommon for a human—even a wild-caught or ‘free-range’ human—to become sexually aroused during their physical cleansing. This is natural and should not be cause for alarm.

Indeed, some human behaviorists contend that it is behavior that should be encouraged. Owners might even make a game of it, stimulating the human’s genitals as part of the cleansing of that area.

Whether to allow the human to climax is at the discretion of its owner. However, it is important to note that repeatedly denying a human’s release during a cleansing may, in some cases, develop a negative association with the process.

As such, it is encouraged that a human owner allows their human to climax during a physical cleansing once in a while so that the human might associate physical cleansing with pleasure. This is a valuable strategy for training humans that extends past hygiene and will be discussed at length in a later section of the book.

While discussing physical cleansing, it would be remiss to avoid the topic of human body hair. Human body hair serves a similar purpose to the artificial body coverings that they create for themselves in the wild.

How much body hair and how quickly it grows depends on the breed of human, with some breeds having no capacity for it at all. Experts recommend that humans be clean-shaven from the upper lip down as sweat and moisture can be trapped by human body hair, creating an ideal environment for pathogens.

Simple magical treatments exist to permanently depilate pet humans should an owner wish to do away with the hassle of ensuring that their human is regularly shorn smooth, however, like physical cleansing, shaving a human pet is a chance to further develop the empathetic bond between pet and owner.

We recognize that some prospective owners may prefer to keep their human’s body hair to preserve an appearance of wildness. While not advisable, in this case, the owner must be extra-vigilant when it comes to protecting their companion from disease. This may come in the form of more frequent physical cleansings or the use of certain soaps, foams, or gels specially formulated to kill pathogens while being safe for humans.

As humans evolved in a physical environment filled with physical threats, maintaining their physical hygiene is fairly straightforward. On the other hand, humans are frightfully vulnerable to psychological and spiritual threats and a human owner must work hard to ensure their little friend remains in good health.

As with physical cleansing, humans require regular psychological and spiritual cleansing. Fortunately, after a physical cleansing is the best time to do the former, as the euphoric effect of spiritual water acts as a sedative and prevents a human’s latent psychic defenses from interfering.

Humans can be protected from most psychological pathogens such as memetic hazards with relative ease. Bringing them into higher-order empathetic communion with their owners confers a respectable degree of protection from these threats.

As semi-sapients, however, humans are uniquely vulnerable to the scourge of invasive, parasitic thoughtforms. It is not uncommon to find a handful of these at each psychological cleansing and it is of the utmost importance to immediately dispose of them.

The most common type of parasitic thoughtform is one that infests most humans in the wild: the delusion that they are somehow an intelligent and sapient species. Unaddressed, such thoughtforms can lead to distress, mistrust, and violent impulses.

Another common parasitic thoughtform is the notion that humans are independent creatures that are equal to Immortals. As this is a patently false notion, the thoughtform must be immediately removed.

Furthermore, concepts of self-determination, the desire to make its own choices, the idea that it does not need an owner, and the belief that it has a greater purpose beyond service to its Immortal owner are other common parasitic thoughtforms that must be removed.

Fortunately, human vulnerability to these psychological pathogens makes it easy to massage their psyches to correct the problem. After removing these problematic thoughtforms, it is important for the human owner to implant or encourage the development of beneficial thoughtforms such as feelings of love and loyalty for its owner, a need to serve, a desire to be a good companion, and pride in being an owned pet, among others.

Finally, it is always important to subject a pet human to spiritual cleansing. This is especially true of wild-caught or ‘free-range’ humans.

As a species, humans have a predilection for the development of religion. Typically, this is used as a crutch, a means of emotional support in the absence of the comfort of higher-order empathetic communion, and as a means of explaining aspects of Universal Truth that are beyond human ken.

Unfortunately, these faiths are often flawed or impure, leading to spiritual stagnation in humans. While this may largely seem innocuous for a species that primarily resides and interacts with the physical world, spiritual stagnation—or worse, corruption—can have knock-on effects on the human psyche.

Indeed, many humans in their natural habitat are the subject of persecution and suffering due to widespread spiritual contagion. These imperfect, impure religions have been the cause of mass outbreaks of violence among wild humans.

Only in recent deci-cycles have wild humans begun to develop widespread resistance against the development of these religions. The result, however, is total neglect of their spiritual health.

To keep a pet human in good health, it is vital to give them a focus for spiritual belief. Once again, after a physical cleansing and psychological cleansing is the best time to ensure a pet human’s spiritual health.

As this is the point in time when a human is at its most malleable, it is also the easiest point in time to establish and reinforce a spiritual connection with its owner. Such a connection can be fostered by encouraging the human to worship its owner.

For wild-caught and ‘free-range’ humans, an owner might encourage them to conduct worship according to the rites and rituals of their pre-existing religions. These rites and rituals may be modified over time to better comport with the standard framework that domesticated humans are trained to follow.

Spiritual cleansing is also a good time to take advantage of humans being highly sex-motivated. Indeed, it is recommended that owners encourage their humans to worship not just their beings but their physical bodies, as well.

Encouraging the worship of sex organs is a good way to cultivate a deeper, more intimate bond with a pet human. That it is a pleasurable undertaking is all the more reason to indulge.

Even a wild-caught human is likely to participate enthusiastically in worship if the act is positively associated with sexual pleasure. Indeed, it is not uncommon for humans to undertake unprompted worship sessions by self-pleasuring to the thought of their masters.

While this behavior is not to be excessively indulged, it is not something to be discouraged either. Regular self-pleasure as a means of prayer and worship ensures that a human’s spiritual self remains resilient and resistant to corruption.

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