Eli, master thief of twenty years, pulls off the heist of the century by stealing from a dragon’s hoard. Little does he know just how much this feat will change his life forever.
God, there’s this awful new guy at my work, some flamer they brought on for diversity or some shit. He’s always smacking on this bubblegum, and smells like cotton candy, wearing pink like some fairy. Last week he got all offended that I rolled my eyes and sighed when he walked past my office a bunch and said I’d be sorry. I guess it can’t be too bad. What’s he gonna do, steal my dick or some shit?
I heard a rumor about a guy… The story changes every time, but it goes like this.
The guy takes something. It’s either a pill, a drink, or some sort of potion. He doesn’t notice anything wrong at first, until his clothes just… disappear. Then, a speedo appears on him. He can’t take it off. Well, he can, but whenever he tries another new speedo just shows up around his crotch.
People kind of notice the fact that there’s this guy just walking around wearing a speedo, but no one really questions it or says anything about it.
I heard that you know a lot of shit about this stuff… Do you… Do you know what happens when someone puts on one of the speedos that the guy has taken off?
High King Cabeiron Erethian has done it. He has consolidated the broken kingdoms of New Corallia into a single empire, and the time for celebration has come. Little does he know that a powerful warlock has slipped his way into his court to exact a little reparation for the steep price of blood that was paid for his unity.