Teambuilding

I just made the football team for my university, and im super stoked! The coach is having us all meet up in the locker room later today, but his email mentioned something about new rules that he was gonna be enforcing this year. Some of the more senior players in the know seem antsy about it. I wonder if I should be worried?

Beta Patron Request by @Fen
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Muscle Fag

Hey Pink Fairy,

Why are straight guys so weird?

I was getting dressed after a great workout, when this really jacked dude I’ve seen around the gym walked up to the locker next to mine. Since we were standing right next to each other it seemed appropriate to make some small talk. So I said that I’d seen him around and it looked like he was hitting the weights pretty hard and that I was really impressed with his physique.

It was intended it purely as a compliment, but he got all weirded out like I was hitting on him or something. He says something about “no thanks…I don’t swing that way.” or something and stalked off after slamming his locker.

It was so embarrassing. And frustrating! I mean, ok, I guess he could tell I was gay. But just because a gay dude compliments you it doesn’t mean they’re trying to get in your pants!

I wish he could learn to loosen up a bit. I mean, the guy has a body of a fitness model. Why not be happy when someone appreciates it?

Alpha Patron Request by @masqulinity
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Cock-uppance

Ever since I got out of college and went home to live with my dad and brother again, they’ve done nothing but bully and pester me, whether it be about me being small and weak and not working a manual labor job or about me being gay. I think it’s about time I got a bit of revenge on both of them. Is there any way you think you could turn my brother into my dad’s cock and my dad into a dumb bodybuilder boyfriend for me next time either of them try to mess with me to put them in their place?

Story Request by @Ben
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As The Romans Do

Eugh! This sucks, I don’t want to go back. Back packing around the globe for a month has been the best idea of my life. Took my mind off everything and saw the world. Now reality’s gotta come crashing in. Get back and be the disappointing short of perfect score, son.

Cat has been liking all my IG posts, and now wants to ‘meet up’ after I get back. Dumped by cheating ice queen! Don’t take her back, don’t take her back. The water works are a show. She left the gate open and killed Tau for fuck sake! I loved that dog.

Fuck me alive, I can’t deal with this right now. Last night, clubs/bars of Italia one last time.

Supporter Request by @Tim C.
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Men of Little Cloth

So… I had a fun weekend! Hours wasted being questioned in an interrogation room. Don’t know who they work for but it’s clear the pair of pious pricks are after every shred of information about a twink in pink and giant in purple. Tracking down anyone that might have crossed their path. Most, I guess are too stupid to use their brains for answers. The others send them packing. But they’re determined.

Supporter Request by @blazefiresabre
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Speedo Serpent

I heard a rumor about a guy… The story changes every time, but it goes like this.

The guy takes something. It’s either a pill, a drink, or some sort of potion. He doesn’t notice anything wrong at first, until his clothes just… disappear. Then, a speedo appears on him. He can’t take it off. Well, he can, but whenever he tries another new speedo just shows up around his crotch.

People kind of notice the fact that there’s this guy just walking around wearing a speedo, but no one really questions it or says anything about it.

I heard that you know a lot of shit about this stuff… Do you… Do you know what happens when someone puts on one of the speedos that the guy has taken off?

Beta Patron Request by @kentboiiii
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