April Faggot

Jax tries to pull off the prank of the century on his childhood friend Spencer. Little does he know that an even greater prankster has him in his sights.

Jax grinned. It was that time of the year again. More so than Christmas, Halloween, Valentine’s, or any other stupid holiday, he looked forward to the first of April. The best part was that his best friend Spencer never saw it coming. For being one of the smartest people that Jax knew, Spence was also one of the most gullible.

The set-up was perfect, this year. Spence and all the other humorless geeks in the journalism org of the university had set one of their quarterly meetings on the 1st of April without any consideration for what the day was.

Since those meetings typically went past dinner, it gave Jax an ideal opportunity to get everything in place without rousing Spence’s suspicions. Not that Spence ever seemed to notice when he was setting up, but it never hurt to be too careful.

The time for the prank of the century was nigh. Everything was in place. The beautiful centerpiece Jax had spent the last two hours putting together was sitting pretty in the middle of their dining table, and the dinner that he’d whipped up was keeping warm in the oven. The only thing missing, really, was the star of the show.

Jax tugged on the sleeves of his dress shirt and smoothed down the front, making sure that everything was neatly tucked into his dress pants. He would have put on a tie, but he figured that on top of the polished leather shoes would have been a bit too much.

Shifting his weight from one leg to the other, Jax slid one hand down the back of his pants. He fiddled with his jockstrap, slipping one finger under the garter that cradled his left ass cheek. It felt weird to wear a jockstrap under dress pants, but it was all for the prank.

Darting into the bathroom, Jax gave his general look one more once-over in the mirror. He gingerly touched his perfectly coiffed, slicked-back hair just to make sure everything was where it should be. He tilted his face to either side, searching for any spots he might have missed while shaving, and gave himself a nod when he was satisfied he looked about as good as could be expected.

Jax was vibrating with nervous energy. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Spence’s face once he walked in through the apartment door and saw Jax standing there with a huge bouquet of flowers.

A few minutes later, Jax’s phone buzzed. It was a text from Spence.

SpenaceTheMenace: Hey
SpenaceTheMenace: Meeting just wrapped up
SpenaceTheMenace: Be home in 15
SpenaceTheMenace: Did you eat yet?
SpenaceTheMenace: Wanna go out somewhere?
SpenaceTheMenace: Or, like, have takeout?

Jax was practically bouncing off the walls. He rocked back and forth on his heels as he typed out his response to Spence.

JaxEngill: Nah
JaxEngill: Wanted to be a good friend
JaxEngill: Made dinner
JaxEngill: Waiting for you

SpenaceTheMenace: Aww…
SpenaceTheMenace: That’s so nice!
SpenaceTheMenace: Thanks, Jax
SpenaceTheMenace: I could definitely use something homecooked

After reading Spence’s reply, Jax put away his phone and bustled about the apartment, doing some last-minute cleaning. His time was mostly spent hiding the evidence that he’d put it all together at the last minute.

Once Jax was satisfied that the apartment was neat enough to look like he’d put a great deal of effort into preparing for tonight, he went to the kitchen. He leaned over the edge of the table and lit the candles in the centerpiece, careful not to disturb the meticulously arranged decorations.

Jax picked up the huge bouquet he’d bought just for the occasion, once everything else at least seemed up to snuff. He experimented with different ways to hold it since it was huge, heavy, and unwieldy. Even though it was just part of a prank, he didn’t want to take any half-measures.

When he heard Spence’s car pull up outside, Jax got into position. He stood in the living room, facing the door, with the bouquet in his arms. A minute or so later, he heard the jangle of keys in the doorknob and heard the click of the latch as the door opened.

Spence walked into the apartment and looked up. He stopped in his tracks, going wide-eyed for a moment. "What. The. Fuck?" he said, looking from side to side as if unsure how to process what Jax was sure was an utterly bizarre sight.

"For you! For being such a good friend to me from the moment you and your family moved in next to mine and you saw me eating grass on my front lawn when we were six," said Jax, walking over to Spence as the door closed behind him.

Before Spence could protest, Jax pushed the bouquet into his arms. In exchange, Jax grabbed the bag that Spence had at least managed to sling off one shoulder. "I’ll take this," said Jax, walking over to one of the chairs in the living room and dropping the bag in it. "I hope you’re hungry."

"Jax…" said Spence, his voice choked with emotion. "Jax, what the hell? You didn’t have to go this far for me," he said. Spence tottered over to the living room, struggling to carry the bouquet until he set it down on the coffee table.

"Of course I did, bud, you’re my best friend. Now come on," said Jax, jerking his head in the direction of the kitchen. "I made your favorite. If you couldn’t tell yet."

Spence tilted his head upward and sniffed the air. "Oh. My. God," he said. "It smells just like what my dad used to make!"

"I know," said Jax. He scratched the back of his head and grinned, acting as bashful as he could manage. "I got the recipe from him, actually. When I told him what I wanted to do, he was super supportive."

Spence walked up to Jax, wrapped his arms around his best buddy, and squeezed him tightly. He didn’t say anything, but Jax could tell that Spence was genuinely tear-eyed. Jax almost felt bad that this was all the set-up for his most diabolical prank yet.

Jax pulled out a chair for Spence, pushed him down into it, and poured out a glass of red wine. "You just sit there, have a taste of that, and I’ll pull it out of the oven, okay?" said Jax, patting Spence on the shoulders.

"Sure thing, man," said Spence, shaking his head.

Jax walked over to oven and pulled it open. The luxurious smell of the best lasagne in the world filled the room, making his mouth water. Now, however, wasn’t the time to indulge his gluttony. Right now was the time to turn up the heat.

Pretending that he’d knocked one of the oven mitts off the counter, Jax said, "Fuck!" He bent over, pushing his ass as high up into the air as he did, making sure that the smooth fabric would stretch over his cheeks and show off the jockstrap framing his tight bubble butt. Behind him, Jax heard spluttering as Spence choked on his drink.

"You okay, Spence?" Jax called out over his shoulder. He stayed bent over until Spence stopped hacking long enough to respond.

"Y-Yeah. The wine just… it just went down the wrong tube," said Spence. Jax looked over his shoulder and saw that Spence was pointedly looking away, cheeks faintly flushed.

"If you’re sure," said Jax, finally standing up with the oven mitts. He slipped them on and took the lasagne out, serving Spence and himself with a sizable portion each. He watched, closely, as Spence took his first bite. "So, what do you think? Does it pass muster?"

"Oh my god," said Spence, through a mouthful of lasagne, it tastes just like what dad used to make. He chewed slowly and deliberately, savoring the bite as much as he possibly could before swallowing. "Fuck, man. It’s like sex in your mouth."

Jax laughed. He and Spence spent the rest of the dinner taking turns between complimenting the lasagne, reminiscing about their childhood, and making lewd noises because of the lasagne. Somehow, between the two of them, they managed to clean out the entire baking dish of lasagne that Jax had made. Even then, if he was being honest, Jax felt like he could have seconds, too.

Spence leaned back in his seat, reaching down to unbutton his pants. "Fuck. I feel like I just ate a whole cow," he groaned. "Oh, man. This was just what I needed. Thank you for this, Jax, really."

"Don’t thank me yet," said Jax. Spence looked at him, head tilted curiously. Jax averted his gaze and tried to look as fidgety as he possibly could. He chewed on his lower lip. "There was something that I wanted to talk to you about…"

The expression on Spence’s face changed. He seemed suddenly serious. "What is it?" he said. "If you need anything just ask. You know I’d do anything for you, man."

"Anything?" said Jax, trying to sound hopeful. "Um. Well… I don’t know how to say this, but… Ever since you came out in 11th grade, I’ve been thinking that… maybe… I’m different too."

Spence was quiet. His expression was inscrutable, his lips pressed into a thin line. "Go on," he said, quietly.

"I-It’s not like I’m super gay or anything… But… Like… And I know you’re my best friend and I don’t ever want to do anything to ruin that, but this has just been weighing on me for so long I can’t keep it inside anymore," said Jax. "I just… Whenever I look at you… I feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world having you as my best friend but… Like… I also wonder… If we could ever be more than that?"

"What are you saying, Jax?" said Spence, slowly, carefully.

"I’m saying…" Jax took a deep breath. He had to fight every urge to break into a smile. Not until the climax, the moment when he had Spence’s whole, undivided attention clinging to his next words.

Spence leaned forward, eyebrow raised. There it was. That was the moment. "APRIL FOOLS!" Jax shouted. Or he would have, if those were the words that came out of his mouth. "I want to be your boyfriend," he said, instead, the words spilling out as if someone else had been speaking through his body.

Spence blinked. The stony look on his face cracked. His lips quirked into a little smile. He laughed. "Fuck," he said, shaking his head. He laughed a little bit more, bright guffaws that, strangely enough, made Jax’s heart skip a beat. "That was a good one, Jax. It’s a good thing one of my friends at the org reminded me what today was."

The chair creaked as Spence got up to his feet and stretched. "Oh, man. You would have gotten me so hard if I wasn’t paying attention." He chuckled. "I can’t believe I forgot."

Jax couldn’t believe the jig was up. Spence had figured out it was a joke. Jax felt as if hell had frozen over, but at least it had gotten a pretty good laugh out of Spence. He shook his head, more than ready to join in on the fun.

Instead of the words "you got me," though, Jax heard his own voice say, "No, Spence. I’m serious. I like you. I didn’t even realize it was April Fools today. You have to believe me! I’m not joking! I really do want to be your boyfriend."

Spence giggled. "Oh come on, Jax. Like I’d ever believe that. Give it up already! It’s over. I figured out your little tricks for once in my life. Let me enjoy my victory while it lasts. Because I’m probably gonna fall for it again next year," he said, shaking his head.

Jax slid out of his chair and knelt on the floor of Spence. He looked up at his best friend, eyes lingering on the unbuttoned waistband of Spence’s pants before his gaze continued on upward to meet Spence’s. "Spence, I’m being serious," he said.

Spence looked at Jax for a moment. He was quiet. Then, he broke out into a smile and said, "Nah." He shook his and laughed. "Nah, man. No way, Jax. I know you. You can’t fool me like that. You think I wouldn’t know if you were gay like me? Jesus, man. I’ve known you since we were kids."

"No, really, Spence, I’m being serious," said Jax. Even though Spence broke eye contact with him, he maintained it such that his gaze would meet Spence’s when Spence’s attention turned back to him. Even though he wasn’t in control of the way he was responding, Jax couldn’t help but feel a little miffed that Spence was being so dismissive.

It wasn’t that Jax was seriously hurt by it or anything, it was April Fools, after all, but what if the words spilling out of him were true? What if he had just forgotten it was April Fools and was making a genuine confession? Surely he had a right to be hurt that Spence wasn’t giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"Stop it, Jax," said Spence, his tone starting to take on a more serious edge. "I know you’re kidding. And besides. You’re my best friend. You know I don’t look at you that way, and I sure as hell know you don’t look at me that way."

Jax chewed on his lower lip. The casual rejection stung. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten that it was April Fools. He was such an idiot. Before he could think of what to do next, he spoke again, the words spilling out of him against his will. "What do I have to do to prove it to you?" he said.

There was no doubt in Jax’s mind. He wasn’t going to be able to take it if he had to keep these feelings inside him for much longer. Spence had to believe him. Even if it was April Fools. He needed Spence to believe him.

Inwardly, Jax grimaced as he shuffled across the kitchen floor toward Spence. He grabbed his best friend by the thighs and looked up, into Spence’s eyes. "I’ll do anything," he said.

Spence opened his mouth to say something, but Jax could tell it was probably just going to be another reprimand. He didn’t have time to marshal his thoughts, to make a compelling argument for how sincere he was being, so he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"What will it take for you to believe me, Spence?" said Jax. "Me confessing that I used to steal your boxer-briefs when we were in high school? That I would shove them in my face when I got home and jerk off to the smell of you?"

If he could have, Jax would have clapped a hand over his mouth. He didn’t even know what he was saying. He certainly had no memory of ever doing that. Or at least that was what he tried to tell himself. He could feel his cheeks warm as a few occasions suddenly came to mind, memories that he could have sworn he didn’t have but memories that he couldn’t deny, either.

Jax couldn’t believe he’d forgotten that he used to do that. "I still do it," he said. His face turned bright red. "I jerked off to your scent just this morning. After you left," he said.

There had been so much to do this morning, setting the stage for his big confession, that the fact he’d even done something so shameful had entirely slipped Jax’s mind. God it was so humiliating to say out loud. And yet, for some godforsaken reason, his cock was hard.

Spence’s eyes were wide. Disbelieving. But Jax could tell that his best friend was putting two-and-two together. All those times that Jax came around, saying that Spence’s undies must have accidentally gotten mixed up in his own laundry, were suddenly given new meaning in Spence’s eyes. He could tell.

"God, Spence. You don’t know how hard it was to be around you when we were playing on the volleyball team," Jax whispered. There was no stopping the confession now. The words just kept coming. Even if he wanted to, he doubted he could do anything about them. "The showers were torture. Because every time I’d look at you naked, I’d get hard as fuck. I always had to hurry before someone called me out."

Spence tried to say something, but Jax, or at least whatever was in control of Jax’s mouth, cut him off again. "Are you still going to say that you don’t believe me?" he said.

"Come on, man! I’m laying my heart out here for you!" said Jax. It was true. He felt exposed and vulnerable in a way that he’d never felt before, and it hurt that Spence wasn’t taking him seriously all because it was April Fools.

"What more do you need me to say?" Jax demanded. He reached up, his fingers fumbling at the zipper of Spence’s pants. "I’m…" Jax trailed off. He wasn’t even sure if there was something controlling him anymore, or if words that he’d always wanted to say were just spilling out at this point.

"I’m a faggot, Spence," Jax said quietly. He pulled the tab of Spence’s zipper down with his teeth. "More than that, I want to be your faggot."

"Jesus Christ, Jax, I—" Spence started.

"Look me in the eye, Spence. Tell me I’m lying. Tell me it’s not true when I tell you that I’ve always wanted to choke on your thick, cunt-buster cock," Jax whispered, mouthing along the outline of Spence’s cock on Spence’s boxer-briefs. "Tell me I’m joking when I tell you that I’ve always wanted to gargle your fat, juicy nuts and guzzle your jizz."

Spence’s eyes were wide. His arms were limp on either side. His mouth was open just enough that Jax could hear the little moan he made when Jax’s lips pressed against the head of his cock through the fabric of his underwear.

"I mean it, Spence. I want you to cum all over my face and paint me white like a pathetic little whore. Your pathetic little whore," said Jax. The words weren’t exactly his but he didn’t think he’d ever said anything more true. "I want you to smear your pre-cum all over my face and slap me around with your fat knob."

Jax breathed heavily. His cock was so hard in his pants. "I want you to take control of my useless little clit, cage it, and throw away the key so the only thing I can ever think of is getting your fuck-meat in my slutty boycunt."

A wet spot was forming at the tip of Spence’s cock. Jax mouthed at it, rubbing his lips all over the head like he was making out with the face of God. He might as well have been. He wanted Spence’s cock inside him so badly.

"Please, Spence. Please," Jax begged. He didn’t know what had come over him, but he was hot. He felt like he was going to burn up from the inside if he didn’t get Spence inside him as soon as possible. "Choke me with your fat, juicy dick, Spence. Bend me over the table. Grab me by the hair. Slap me across the face. Spit in my mouth. Call me your eager little whore and use me however you want!"

Spence’s face was flushed a deep red. His fingers tentatively hooked into Jax’s hair, and then pulled away when the sensation made Jax moan, delirious with pleasure.

"God, Spence, I want you so badly," Jax whispered. "Tie me up like a hog and fuck me into the ground. Ruin my ass with your big dick and make me squeal like your slutty little piglet."

"Fuck," Spence whispered. "Fine. Fine. I get it. You’re serious. Fine. If that’s really what you want…" Spence trailed off. Then, too fast for Jax to even register, Spence grabbed him by the hair, pulled him up to his feet, and aggressively bent him over the table.

The centerpiece slid off the edge of the table and clattered across the floor. Fortunately, the candles had already been extinguished, and Jax managed to save the baking dish from falling off. He pushed it aside so he wouldn’t accidentally knock it off, and gasped as Spence jerked his dress pants down.

The cold air made the sensitive skin of his ass break out into goosebumps, but Jax didn’t have much of an opportunity to process the sensation before he felt Spence’s cock nestle between his cheeks. "You wanna be fucked like a faggot?" said Spence, his voice low and gravelly. "Get ready to be split open, then."

Jax tried to push off the table to get into a more comfortable position, but Spence’s hand on his back slammed him back down. He moaned as Spence’s cock pressed up against his twitching hole. The pressure built and built and built until the head popped in.

A soundless howl escaped Jax. His hole burned around the not-insignificant girth of Spence’s meat. A moment of reprieve was all Jax got before Spence snapped his hips forward and slammed his cock home. White-hot pleasure-pain surged through his entire being as he screamed, his mind going completely blank.


By the time that midnight came around, Jax had been fucked on every surface in the kitchen at least once. His throat and hole were raw but he had never felt more satisfied in his life. Spence had stalked off to take a shower, leaving him all on his lonesome.

Jax yawned and nearly drifted off when he felt something land on the sticky mess of cum on his chest. He picked it up and held it up to the light. It looked like a small business-card, made of pink cardstock with a flowery handwritten message on it.

April Fools!

— Pink Fairy

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