There’s this new super hot guy at work, and I’ve been popping boners all week! I went online to find something to do about it and this company popped up, selling some high tech cup that’s supposed to keep things chill down there. I got one and put it on, but now it’s saying something about a passcode and ‘not wanting to take it off?’
I’ve made a terrible mistake. A fitness magazine is doing “be the next face of” and I signed up!
They want me to come in for a photo shoot. I am not ready, what am I going to do?
Owen and Mark are hanging out at the mall. Mark is drawn to the displays of a new store, Build-a-Boy. They decide to go in. A clerk guides them through the various customization stations.
I was drinking alone at a bar one night. I must have looked miserable because the bartender handed me a cocktail and told me it was free. But I passed out soon after drinking it.
When I woke up, I was tied up backstage. My entire body had been shaved smooth. They forced me to put on this costume with special pants and made me dance on stage. I couldn’t disobey their orders, but even worse, I couldn’t remember who I was.
I was recently cast as Nightwing in an upcoming DCEU film and I’m super excited. Even though I’ve got a great body, my producer says my… er… “assets” aren’t up to par for a comics-accurate portrayal.
He says he can fix that, but it’ll take some time. Luckily, we don’t start shooting for several months. He’s got me on a “revolutionary” new workout and vitamin regimen, but so far, I haven’t noticed any major differences.
Although, now that I think about it, my pants have been fitting oddly, and ever seat feels like it has a little more cushion. And there’s this itch that I just can’t seem to scratch. What’s going on?
Some neighbors came by the other day to invite me to a pool party. They owned a greenhouse pool, apparently. I wore my some shorts to their house but at the party, what I found was strong men in sexy trunks standing at three of the corners of the pool.
They asked me to join them and gave me a pair of those skimpy trunks. The neighbors said I should wear them, so I tried them on. After getting home, clothes have been a bit of a pain so I’ve been spending the days naked at home, staring in the mirror and imagining myself as a pool boy.
The neighbors have just come by again. They are wearing their trunks. They’re asking me if I’m ready to be their permanent poolboy.