I just made the football team for my university, and im super stoked! The coach is having us all meet up in the locker room later today, but his email mentioned something about new rules that he was gonna be enforcing this year. Some of the more senior players in the know seem antsy about it. I wonder if I should be worried?
My roomie has a job working in the design lab for some big tech corporation, and he’s been staying awfully late at work recently. He comes home and seems all high and bubbly, and won’t stop offering me some new jocks, even though I only wear boxers. Well last night, I got tired of it and put them on to humor him, and now my nose is all itchy. And there’s this weird scent coming from somewhere…
I’m the only out guy in my dorm building, and I’m roomed with 2 of the guys on the football team… They keep ragging on me for not knowing sports and want me to come to their games and be a “motivator” for their pregame talks in the locker room… Whatever that means.
God, there’s this awful new guy at my work, some flamer they brought on for diversity or some shit. He’s always smacking on this bubblegum, and smells like cotton candy, wearing pink like some fairy. Last week he got all offended that I rolled my eyes and sighed when he walked past my office a bunch and said I’d be sorry. I guess it can’t be too bad. What’s he gonna do, steal my dick or some shit?
I was walking past this seedy bar in the backstreets and I bumped into this guy. He got all offended looking and said something I couldn’t understand while waving his hands, saying my ‘tastes would change.’ Now I feel so hungry for something, and guys keep bending over near me…