Hey Pink Fairy,
My boyfriend, Noah, is desperate to have a threesome. Despite me agreeing, he so loyal and dedicated he can’t bring himself to do it. He feels like he’d be cheating on me. I’m an only child and always wondered what it would be like to have a brother.
So, I was wondering if you could make me my own identical twin? That way Noah can have all the guilt free threesomes he wants, and I get to have a sibling that shares my interests.
I was drinking alone at a bar one night. I must have looked miserable because the bartender handed me a cocktail and told me it was free. But I passed out soon after drinking it.
When I woke up, I was tied up backstage. My entire body had been shaved smooth. They forced me to put on this costume with special pants and made me dance on stage. I couldn’t disobey their orders, but even worse, I couldn’t remember who I was.
Hey Pink Fairy…
There’s this guy, Trey, at my school. He’s very cute, but he’s straight. I thought he was one of the good guys at first because he caught me staring but he didn’t bully me or shout at me. In fact, he befriended me and we hung out for a while. I should have known it was too good to be true because he just used me to help him write his term paper.
Trey ghosted me after turning his paper in. It hurt. I thought we had something. Turns out he’s done this to a lot of guys at school. He baits gay guys with his good looks and his charm to get them to do stuff for him like giving him loans, doing his laundry, and helping him pass classes. It’s fucking unfair and I’m fucking pissed.
Can you punish him, Pink Fairy? I think he needs to get taken down a peg. Maybe you can force him to go through with paying the sex that he implies he’ll do in exchange for gay guys’ help even if he doesn’t intend to. I think it’s only fair that he do something for us poor guys since we did something for him.
Hey, so, recently my friends have told me that I act very straight for a gay guy. Any way the Pink Fairy could help me so I come across a bit more gay? Just, nothing too extreme…
I was walking past this seedy bar in the backstreets and I bumped into this guy. He got all offended looking and said something I couldn’t understand while waving his hands, saying my ‘tastes would change.’ Now I feel so hungry for something, and guys keep bending over near me…
Dear Pink Fairy,
For a long time now I have admired both your work and you. You have made many wonderful wishes come true. I am here now to offer you something — Myself.
I have debated this for some time, and wish to offer myself as a sex slave and assistant to you. I’m sure you’ll take my brain, but I’m sure I can still help with something like keeping your schedule. I mean, that will only require some reading and basic communication skills.
Use me as you see fit, I just ask that you use me. I prefer to give and hear your prefer to take, so please take all I have to offer. I hope I can satisfy you as you have satisfied so many.
— A fan
Captain Chris Hansen, a renowned xenobiologist and astronaut, is on a one-man mission to a newly discovered extrasolar planet believed to be capable of harboring life. What he finds there is beyond even his wildest imagination.
Neil is a proud Christian man. He has always held strong to his faith, has always believed in the Bible. Sure, there was some few years that he lost his way. He was led astray by sinful men and sinful desires, but eventually he returned to the right path thanks to his beautiful fiancé Patricia.
The summer before their wedding, Neil volunteers for the local ex-gay conversion camp, believing that it is his duty, before he joins in holy matrimony with the most wonderful woman, to give back to the community that had helped him go back to his normal, heterosexual self.
Little does Neil know that there are creatures on the prowl in the woods just beyond the camp grounds, waiting for the signal to put an end to the operations.
The Brogda Sídhe continues to gather allies for the coming confrontation. This time, he turns to an eager old friend he knows will be chomping at the bit for a taste of revenge against their common enemy.
I was recently cast as Nightwing in an upcoming DCEU film and I’m super excited. Even though I’ve got a great body, my producer says my… er… “assets” aren’t up to par for a comics-accurate portrayal.
He says he can fix that, but it’ll take some time. Luckily, we don’t start shooting for several months. He’s got me on a “revolutionary” new workout and vitamin regimen, but so far, I haven’t noticed any major differences.
Although, now that I think about it, my pants have been fitting oddly, and ever seat feels like it has a little more cushion. And there’s this itch that I just can’t seem to scratch. What’s going on?